The Match - Worst Dating App Ever

Isn't this easy to understand?

Trying to explain the NRMP match to anyone not graduating medical school is an ordeal, to say the least. Here's a video, for anyone who might care.

Around first year of medical school, I didn't give "matching" much thought because I didn't even know what I wanted to do. Mostly, I planned to do primary care because I thought I'd be good at it since I'm multi-lingual, and I didn't want to be in training until middle age (which, hah-hah now that I'm going into pathology).

The idea is simple enough: graduating medical students or anyone who's met the minimum requirements to start residency in the United States, as well as all teaching hospitals sign up for The Match. Applicants send their ERAS application (which is on a different site and costs money) to the programs they are interested in, and the programs have the opportunity to invite them for an interview (imagine a job interview mixed with a college interview, but way more nerve-wracking).

The applicant can choose whether or not to accept the interview depending on how many invites they received. My medical school advised graduating students to apply to at least thirty programs, assuming they were in good academic standing, had scored average or above in the USMLE for their desired specialty, and were not applying for the more competitive specialty. Later, must of us learned that thirty programs was a bit of an overkill for an American medical school (or at least, I did considering I was invited to interview at twenty-something programs).
Anyway, people going to specialties that aren't particularly competitive usually go on around twelve interviews to ensure that they match. I went to fifteen because I'm bad at saying 'no' and I wanted to keep my options open. At the end of interview season, I had to submit my rank list to the NRMP and then wait. And wait.

The worst part is that I'm sure someone, somewhere knows whether I already matched, and where. I assume that this is done by a computer, and unless it's happening in some gamer's basement, the computer ran through its algorithm in like twenty-four hours. There's no reason why they can't end this quickly. Instead, this is what's going to happen/has happened:

1. I submitted my ERAS application sometime on September-October of last year (already forgot the exact date).  Costs money.
2. I sent out my application to the thirty programs I was advised to reach out to. Costs money.
3. I bought my suit for interviews (a Calvin Klein one on clearance at Burlington Coat factory). Cost money.
4. I waited to be invited for interviews. Costed peace of mind even though I got my first invitation within twenty-four hours.
5. I started travelling for interviews. Costed a lot of money, even though several programs paid for my hotel. Annoying as all hell for an introvert like me.
6. Finished interviewing. Agonized over my rank list since I liked most of the programs where I interviewed; ended up ranking according to geographic preference.
7. Submitted the rank list. I'm pretty sure that also costed money, either at this stage or when I first signed for the NRMP (which is different than ERAS for some reason). 
8. Waiting. Around a month, but it feels like forever. 

Now, I'm almost done. Today, I got the email that I'm eligible for SOAP, which is for people who didn't match to scramble for a last minute position in hospitals that did not find applicants for all their spots. This doesn't mean that I didn't match, just that I'm eligible to apply for this if I didn't match. I'm assuming it costs money, but I'm hoping I don't have to find out.

On Monday, I get another email letting me know whether I matched, but now where. If I didn't, I get to do the SOAP thing I mentioned above. Why they don't tell where I matched as well? I'm sure somebody smarter than me knows the answer to that question.

And finally, next Friday, I will hopefully find out where exactly I'll be working in July, and whether or not I'm moving.

Jesus take the wheel.

ETA: 3/14/16 it's done. I matched therefore I'm not eligible for SOAP.