Exercising and building habits

A friend of mine is trying to make going to the gym a habit, and we had an interesting discussion about it. I have a somewhat hectic, unpredictable schedule (don't we all), but I've managed to keep exercise more or less a part of my life for years. There are weeks I stop going (these last two for example, I've only been to the gym once), but I've always known that the moment my schedule settles, I'll be right back to exercising. People ask me how they can become that "disciplined" about it.

The "secret" is that it doesn't take discipline at all. It takes a rather simple set of guidelines.


1. Stay the hell away from the "fitspiration" community 

For anyone who might not be aware, the "fitspiration" community is . . . I don't even know what it is. All I know is that they love images like this one:

This is the kind of poster you use to keep you at your crappy day job so you can buy food while you labor on your beloved screenplay/novel/graphic novel/etc. The obvious message is that you don't actually want to exercise. It's just a sacrifice you have to make so you'll get what you want "most", which I'm assuming in this case is a hot bod.

The point is, this puts to mind doing something uncomfortable, boring, unpleasant, maybe even painful as part of the process of achieving another goal. It doesn't make me feel motivated; it makes me feel stressed out.



And this is not just one random poster. Look at this one:

This one goes right ahead and calls exercise an "unpleasant task". Even worse, it paints a workout routine as something you get to finish, like a bad job you'll only have to do for a little while before moving on to better things.

This is not how living a healthy lifestyle works. There isn't  a single workout routine that will transform you into the conventionally attractive creature you know you are deep down if only you had the "motivation", "self-control", and "discipline" to follow it through.

And that's before we get to the posters that are dangerous, that tell people to work out to the point of injury and then "fight through the pain", that if you don't leave the gym sore and miserable, then it "doesn't count".



I'm not exaggerating:

This is absolutely ridiculous. Exercise is supposed to be about health, and whatever idiot made this "inspirational" poster is telling people to keep at it even if they're hurt or in pain. One of the crucial challenges of exercise is learning to differentiate between tired-soreness and 'stop what you're doing right now, something is wrong, you're about to be seriously injured'. Stupid posters like this one make it sound like pain is a normal part of exercise. It isn't.

Note that at no point is exercise itself treated as its own "reward". This is about looking hot. A person is to do whatever routine is the new panacea to weight gain regardless of their own personal enjoyment or goals.


Which brings me to my next guideline:

2. Find a form of exercise you actually enjoy doing for its own sake.

Think of your favorite hobby, the one you've been consistently going back to even after long periods away from it. Yes, even if that hobby is just marathoning whole TV show seasons on Netflix. Have you ever sat down and thought "Oh my God, I need the discipline and self-control to get back at this. I need to look at some amorphous 'reward' I'll get at the end of it only if I do it, not how terrible I feel when I'm actually doing it. I really hate this, but it's necessary."

I'm going to guess you haven't. You do whatever your hobby is because it relaxes you, because when you're done with the "task", you're not just relieved you can cross something out of your to-do list. You just feel happy and relaxed, like you've taken a break from your to-do list. That's how your exercise routine will have to be if you want to make it into a habit.

This is another reason you should stay away from the fitspiration non-sense above. They'll demand a particular form of exercise (a while back, it was squats), and everything else doesn't count. What's that? You only do the elliptical? You might as well stay home eating Cheetos off your couch. You won't do weights at least three times a week? You'll be a flabby mess forever, don't even bother. Oh? You ate a Snickers bar after your measly thirty minute workout? Why didn't you just stay home?

Forget them. Try to find a form of movement you enjoy. If you like long nature walks, do that. If you like dancing, see if you can spring for dance lessons, or just google videos on Youtube. You like weights? Go for it. You like swimming, biking, whatever? Try it. Get creative. The point is to look for an activity you want to do so badly that you'll be squeezing it into your schedule the same way you squeeze in time for your favorite TV show/movie/book/videogame/scrapbooking project/whatever.

The advantage of thinking about exercise as a hobby is that if life does get complicated and you have to step away from it, you'll be less likely to feel like a failure. You won't leave feeling shamed, upset, or secretly relieved that you don't have to do it anymore. You'll leave knowing that you'll be back at the moment your schedule stabilizes. You'll be looking forward to it.

And finally:

3. If you must tie your work out routine to some kind of external reward, make sure the reward is immediate

I'm going to get this out of the way: Exercise, even when combined with dieting, is no guarantee of significant, long term weight loss. You might follow the in-vogue routine to the letter, for as long as the gurus said you should, and you might not lose a pound. I can tell you that you've enjoyed the health benefits anyway (the lower A1c, lower LDL cholesterol, and maybe a higher HDL cholesterol; your cardiovascular capacity most definitely improved), but actual weight loss? Your body might have just decided that it worked way too hard for that fat to just let it go now.

You know what my three "outside" rewards for getting to the gym are? Enhanced appetite (so I can enjoy food more), better sleep, and easier bowel movements. If I exercise, I know for a fact that I'll enjoy my post-workout meal, that I'll sleep well that night, and that my next visit to the bathroom will be a quick, comfortable event. That's it.

So yeah. If I'm ever feeling "lazy", I just remind myself of how painless my bowel movements were when I was going to the gym regularly. Gets me up on my feet every time.

(Note: people with gorgeous, almost textbook physiques exist, but their workout routines are beyond intense. They took years to achieve those results. If your goal is bodybuilding, then you'll have to enjoy exercise that much more, and you'll have to be that much more careful to avoid injury. It's a fine goal, but be sure you understand the kind of work that goes into it before you make it your goal.)