World of Final Fantasy: awesome, or are my standards too low by now?

Buy here.

Against my better judgment, I purchased a full-price copy of World of Final Fantasy shortly after it came out. Most Square Enix games I've played in the last few years have been crushing disappointments, but I guess old habits die hard. For better or for worse, my hindbrain associates Square with games I enjoy. I briefly considered buying Deus Ex: Manking Divided even though I know it's not the kind of game I like to play. It was published by Square Enix, apparently.

The only logical, if unflattering, explanation is that I'm not as immune to bitter brand loyalty as I like to pretend I am. For now, I'll console myself with the fact that, at least in the case of World of Final Fantasy, brand loyalty didn't lead me astray. I've not had this much fun playing a videogame since Fire Emblem: Awakening. And considering Awakening is one of my favorite games ever (Chris, I'm still gonna harass you into buying a 3DS and playing this game), that's saying something.

Much like Persona Q, World of Final Fantasy is a blatant play for long-time fans' wallets. And much like Persona Q, I was floored by how much the developers seem to have cared about making a fun game even though name alone was going to move copies.

You play as a pair of twins that. . . honestly, who cares? They travel from dungeon to dungeon, meet heroes from previous Final Fantasies, while catching classic Final Fantasy monsters like they're Pokemon. I can't even pretend to be able to judge this game with any objectivity because did you read that description? 

That being said, I'm going to try.

Back to Final Fantasy because I guess I don't love myself

Not when it comes to this franchise. These last two weeks, I've been ruining my recent decimation of my credit card debt by setting up what I'm calling a home entertainment system. By which I mean, I bought myself a Roku TV and a PS4:

Yes, they're both on a couch

By the way, that couch is part of this number I got at IKEA. It's supposed to be attached to the couch where I sit all the time, but my mother (who claims to be a weak old women) ripped it off its hinges. It's now the world's crappiest stand. Anyway, I already pre-ordered the premium edition of Persona 5 at Amazon. They're promising an artbook, and probably a soundtrack, but I mostly want that book bag. Since Atlus' shameless lunge for my money, Persona Q, turned out to be awesome, my expectations for Persona 5 are off the charts.

Square Enix, on the other hand. . .

Why does music in English rarely sound good?

I don't mean to sound like a hipster here, but the English language just doesn't lend itself to music very well. Spanish lyrics just sound so much better. It's not just for music that's translated from another language to English either. I've noticed that new Spanish music just has . . . deeper meaning than English music.

All my life, I assumed it's because English is not my first language so it never sounds quite as soothing and welcoming to my ear as Spanish. That's a strange feeling since I'm way more eloquent in English by this point (like ninety percent of my formal education as been in Spanish).

To be specific, I think Shakira sounds about a hundred times better in Spanish (I think this is the point where I lose any pseudo-sophistication points I might have gained above). If you happen to be bilingual, or just bored, go listen to "Suerte", then "Whatever, whenever" on youtube. Hell, even if you don't speak Spanish, I think you'll notice that "Suerte" is just a better song.

Also, listen to "Que Me Quedes Tu", my favorite Shakira song ever ("That you are left to me", can't think of a less literal translation that makes more sense . . . perhaps "That I'm left with you", but it doesn't sound right either).

Theatrhythm: Curtain Call; a shot to the limbic system

As I discussed recently, SquareEnix and I have broken up. At the moment, I'm bracing myself for hating that FFVII remake they have in the works, dreading the time I will purchase the necessary consoles to play it like a good little consumer. This post it not about that. This post about something that SquareEnix actually got right: Theathrythm: Final Fantasy.

Buy on Amazon. At once.

If you like Final Fantasy music, and I'm pretty sure that anyone who's ever played the games does, then this game is distilled nostalgia. Like the introvert that I am, I've spent most of the day playing tracks on this rhythm game (the battle themes for FFIV, in case anyone is curious). Well, I also wrote some, went running, and practiced Portuguese, but most of my time has been at my 3DS.

This is the only thing that has tempted me to play Final Fantasy games in a long time. Whatever else about the newer games sucks, the music remains superb. My current favorite is FFXI's Opening Theme (hey, there's Spanish in this video):

The gameplay itself is . . . I don't actually care. This game kills my ADHD (meaning I suck at it because I keep missing targets, especially the hold triggers). To be honest, I should probably be just buying the soundtracks, though I suppose I wouldn't be as engaged if I wasn't trying to get things perfect despite my suckitude.

If you're a completist gamer, I would suggest you stay away from this game. There's always three levels to each song (Basic, Expert, and a third level I haven't bothered to try). There's grading for each track, the highest being SSS. There's getting perfect chains for each track. There's getting all criticals in for each track. There's unlocking all the characters via that crystal thingie at the end of each track. There's something called CollectaCards, which resemble Pokemon but more pointless (still want all of them).

By the way, there are at least a hundred tracks on this thing, plus God only knows how many I haven't unlocked.

The rise and fall of my love affair with Square Enix

When I was in undergrad, I used to joke that I would be a licensed physician before Kingdom Hearts III was released. At the time, attending medical school was just a step above a pipe dream for me, yet here I am. Months away from starting residency, and Kingdom Hearts III is . . . I don't know, actually. Is it still even happening? How long has it been in production? Was the franchise just not as successful as I imagined? (Very possible, by the way. It's not like my teen self was business savvy.)

Months after every one else who might have cared, I got wind that SquareEnix is remaking Final Fantasy VII. I was surprised and a little disappointed by how little I cared. This is a game I played a lot as a kid, and I was even one of the few fools who bought Dirge of Cerberus at full price. Though I didn't watch Advent Children a million times as one of my friends did, I did enjoy it. Crisis Core remains one of my favorite games for the PSP, second to another Square title (the Final Fantasy X port). Yet my reaction to a FF VII remake is . . . meh.

'Meh' is a pretty good word to describe my current feelings for what was once one of my favorite videogame companies. There's no specific moment that shattered my illusions about their games, no instance that I can pin point that made me throw a controller against some wall and dramatically declare that I would never ever again give SquareEnix a cent. In fact, I've been playing Bravely Default this week, and the fact that I've enjoyed it so much is what triggered this post. I realized that I bought a SquareEnix game with every expectation to be disappointed, and that I was surprised not to regret the purchase.

Buy it on Amazon, if you like pressing A while listening to nice music

Though I didn't know it at the time, Final Fantasy XIII is where SquareEnix ceased to fill me with joy. Even I doubt I can adequately describe just how excited I was for this game, or even how I managed to afford it. All I know is that I had to work really hard to convince myself that I enjoyed it, and for a while I succeeded. I even forced myself to play through it during a Spring break (so I was in college when it came out, I guess).

I've blotted most of it from memory, or maybe it just wasn't good enough to stick with me, but FFXIII never really felt like a game. It was like an endless corridor with nice visuals, soothing music, and occasionally pressing A so the game could play itself. I don't remember NPCs, towns, side quests . . . even the characters are a blur. There was one with a lisp? I think.

In contrast, I could still write a semi-detailed synopsis of FFX even though it's been about as long since I played it. So it's not just that it's been so long since I played FXIII that I can't possibly be expected to remember it in detail.

According to babble on some gaming forums, the Fire Emblem franchise was in a bind before Awakening was released. Apparently, it was set to be the last game in the series. SquareEnix had been in a similar spot in the past and pulled through, so maybe they have it in them to make excellent games again. But I'd be lying if I said I had high hopes.