Don't Breathe. . . while this movie those that with cooking appliances

It's like a Goosebumps poster

Last weekend, I went to see Don't Breathe like a woman in a desert, by which I mean I'm desperate for something that isn't a superhero movie. I hate to be one of Those People bemoaning the death cinema because all anyone seems to care about is men in tights. . . but hot damn, you can't step into a theater these days without drowning in some superhero or other bemoaning that they can't be normal, or that the government is trying to tell them what to do and infringe on their rights or whatever. So Don't Breathe looked intriguing.

I would share the trailer, but the one I watched goes right ahead and spoils one of the movie's twists. Though perhaps it's more accurate to call it a plot point, since it happens relatively early in the movie and it's only one of several satisfying twists and turns. Still, it is a spoiler, so instead I will share this ridiculous commercial I keep seeing at the movies with "real" people, "not" actors:

What are you doing Chevy? Literally no one cares about cars this much, in this way. Even car buffs don't care about silly awards (I assume), and if they do, I highly doubt they're talking about it like that. Come on. You sell somewhat affordable cars for suburban people, not BMWs. 

Anyway. The movie.

The positive reviews from people who do the film critic thing for a living are well-deserved. Though the premise is inherently silly (poor kids try to rob a blind man because they figure he's an easy target) and the plot admittedly simple, Don't Breathe weaves suspense into its sparse setting with masterful ease. The three main characters are fairly forgettable horror movie cliches, but the movie seems aware of it and rushes through their introductory arcs like a graceful host. I was subjected to minimal drama about their personal lives and trite love triangle before the movie zeroes in on the cat-and-mouse game between The Blind Man and the intruders.

For a movie like this, lighting and setting are arguably more important than any actor. It's a claustrophobic film by necessity, both because of its (relatively) tiny budget and because the main villain couldn't function in a wide, open space. I don't know enough about film to know the technicalities of how it was accomplished, but watching The Blind Man glide through the narrow, poorly-lit corridors of his drab home is way more entertaining than it has any right to be. There was a scene where The Blind Man has a fight with one of the three stooges in a teeny room with a washer and dryer that's as tense as trying to catch a bus to avoid being late for work on a day when you have presentation.

It's a terrifying situation for me, okay.

The Blind Mind ends up as the most entertaining of all the characters, if not the most sympathetic. Up until what I've dubbed that scene happens, he actually is fairly sympathetic. Not if he was a real person, mind you, but I've always been able to forgive many more outright evil actions from a fictional character than I ever could from a real person. For the first two-thirds of the movie, I was firmly on The Blind Man's side. He is just trying to defend his home, after all, and from three people who show minimal remorse about robbing a blind veteran. I don't care how desperate their own situations are. That's low. 

And here come my gripes with the movie. I don't think the cheap shock of that scene is worth it because it makes The Blind Man as objectively unlikable as the rest of the cast. Perhaps I need to be more badass, but I can't enjoy a story if I can't root for a single character. Since The Blind Man had the best actor and the most sympathetic story (up to that scene), I guess I defaulted to him.

Worst of all, the movie didn't need that scene to build suspense. The situation was already fraught with anxiety, and that scene felt like the writers/producers not having enough faith in their own product. Don't Breathe also suffers because its simple premise doesn't leave much room for a full-feature film. During the last act, there were way too many fake-outs. I would've let it go, but the tightly-woven suspense and pacing of the first two acts become retroactively tainted when you realize that the film makers couldn't keep it going all the way to the end. 

None of these flaws keep Don't Breathe from achieving a respectable degree of quality. Thank God. This film isn't a sequel, and that alone makes it worth checking out.